Sunday 6 January 2013

"Religion"

Moved from several other blog/journal places I've had over the years...

tmbrunschen (tmbrunschen) wrote,

The Church of The JC and The E-Day Saints

The ideas, names and text of this post are copywrited, trademarked and illegal to use or repreduce other than to spread the word of the church.

I’ve had an epiphany…

Since early adolescence I have said things like:

“Ironing? I don’t iron. It’s against my religion.”

“Exercise?? Exercise is against my religion.”

“Heels?! Heels are against my religion.”

Et cetera.

Tonight I realised I needed to name my “religion” and share it with the world.

I hereby found the religion of The Church of The Justified Comforts and The Every-Day Saints.

Our shibboleth is “Do onto others as you would have done onto you”. There are no exceptions.

We have few rules in our church. They are as follows (but may be added to by fellow followers – subject to majority agreement):

1. Do not worship false idols. Instead, worship The Every-Day Saints. The mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc. we all know and love. We are not impressed by an ability to turn water into wine. What impresses us is the ability to get screaming children out to school in the morning and still make it to work on time without too much visible sick on your suit/uniform. The ability to make it to your son’s baseball game even though the boss would have preferred you to be in the office on a Saturday.

2. Keep Justified Comforts. It is comfortable to lay on the sofa all day and watch day-time television, but this is not a Justified comfort if done every day. Work if you are able so that you may support yourself and allow those who aren’t able to have the benefit of supportive funds. Justified Comforts are those that are acceptable under the ideals of our shibboleth.

3. Follow the ideals of the shibboleth. Understand them for what they are. If you wouldn’t like to see your family killed: don’t do it to someone else. If it would make you happy to be aided when carrying a heavy bag of groceries home: offer to help when you see a person in that situation. [Try to use the motto: “What Would I Like?” (WWIL?). Put yourself in the shoes of the person/people that you encounter and ask yourself WWIL? As an example: you see an older lady on the bus, struggling to stand, yet you have a seat. Ask yourself WWIL? How would I like someone to treat my grandmother were she in this situation? Try to act accordingly.]

TMB - Founder, The Church of The Justified Comforts and The Every-Day Saints